Wife of a cop

So I don't know if I ever mentioned it but my husband is a police officer. He works for a smaller department so office politics are down to a minimum to non existent.  This makes dealing with some of the major stress cops, and their families, deal with a little easier to handle.  I am reading this book called I Love a Cop. It's been amazing and eye opening about what other cop families go through. 

I see some of us in the stories of the officers and their families. Mostly I would call it terrific preventative medicine so that you know how to recognize signs of stress and how to counter it. Just wanted to share :D

B

Something's Gotta Give

No, not the movie but my life. I wear many hats a wife, student, daughter, pet and apartment caregiver, and until recently employee.

I recently had an amazing opportunity to work with my friends kids and left my previous miserable job to do it. Some things happened in my friends life that postponed the start date of this job.  This meant time to take care of my apartment, the pets, myself, and my hubby. The latter two have been the most neglected before I've had this time off. Though my hubby would probably disagree with being at the top of this particular list as I try very hard to prevent anything from falling through the cracks and he's always appreciative of the things I do.

So Adam and I had a discussion about me not going back to work and focusing on my school. We discovered we are in a unique and privileged position to allow that to happen. I couldn't be more grateful.

I'm finding myself always exhausted and spread too thin.  My hubby works a FT jobs and cannot pick up any of the slack and I was running out of hours in the day to get it all done. I've gotten into the habit of regularly staying up until the sun comes up to get it all done.

Then sleep deprived, roll out of bed and try to get even more done and this has left me stressed, dizzy, exhausted, and frustrated that I cannot get it all done. Specifically, I've noticed a lot lately that I've been blending and confusing my words or getting light headed and walking into things...like being drunk without the party. The more worn out I get, the more I stress, the less I sleep, and the more light headed and spaztic I get. It's a horrible circle.

Then caught up in all of this is my wonderful hubby who a shock absorber for all my irritability, poor guy. So between Grad school, work, the pets, the apartment, and trying to have relationships with friends and family (which includes my hubby of course) something had to give.

Lucky for me, I have a wonderful man and we have a great plan in place to re-prioritize and put the important things first, like sleep, family, hubby, and school

Busy Busy Busy

I haven't been on here since the wedding I believe.  It's been a whirlwind this year after getting married I had to get my things together for Concordia. I'm currently in my first term and feeling a delightfully overwhelmed.

We have adjusted to married life very well.  Its very similar to the life we had before only now I have to remember to sign my new name :)! No, its more than that.  Now that we are married we are preparing (emotionally and financially) for the next steps in life like buying a home. 

We're talking a lot about having kids too and its more than just a general "at some point we want to have kids". Things like when do we want to start trying, how do we feel about certain things associated with parenting, and certain things associated with pregnancy and birth. 

We're not planning on it anytime soon. As far as a "plan" is concerned I can  guarantee any "plans" we have about having kids will be overridden by life in general. It is just good to know where we are about the subject and what we don't know so we know what we'll need to learn about when the time comes to take the next step :).

So right now, its just work, school, homework, and in rare cases seeing my hubby. He works nights and I've been working a lot of closing shifts. It means we don't get to see each other a lot because I leave for work before he is up and come home after he has left.

For anyone in cyberspace who is listening, that's a little about my life right now.

B

Interesting reflections about life reflections....

Just relived some interesting past moments with a new friend.  Its interesting looking back at it and explaining it to someone and how you tend to reflect on your life.  Now I'm reflection about those reflections...why do we do things like this? 

Why do people come to realizations about their life then analyze those? Typically, you do it when you're older or  only when they're reliving it with someone else? Maybe for me its a combination of both.

I think we're a highly social type of animal and this should come as no surprise to anyone.  We also have a tendency to hang on to "the good old days". 

I didn't feel that way about things though.  It was a more positive feeling of without these mistakes I wouldn't be here kind of feeling.  It wasn't a "missing the good old days" type feeling.

While I wish I had more time to hang out with and maintain the friendships I had in the "good old days" I have a great group of friends I love now.  Some of them are old friends I have known since high school (the good old days) but I had to let some go.

I wasn't always this positive about it or so casual about it. It really hurt when some of the people I was closest to drifted away. I kept trying but they kept drifting.

Now I just really love how things are.  I have an amazing husband, wonderful friends, and I'm pursuing a career I love.

While we're technically not where we want to end up-like we don't own a home yet because we're not ready for a home-we're happy with where things are and where we're going. Just signed a lease on the apartment we really like and in a few years maybe we'll be ready to get one.

Life Balance

When I first turned 25 I was excited. I was where I wanted to be.  I had, or was about to have, my bachelors degree in hand, was about to get married, and was lining up paperwork for Graduate school. 

As the big 25 has continued on my bachelors degree was hanging on the wall, I was married to the man I adore, and will be starting Concordia in about a week.

Still, I can't help but think about life and life balance. Is that what the big milestone birthdays do to a person? You think about the what am I doing in parts of life that isn't satisfying? So I had read, doesn't that always get people in trouble, about the areas of life balance and decided to see how they measure up.

The key to living your life to the fullest is balance. How can you live your life to the fullest if one or more areas of your life suffer? For example, maybe you are successful in your career. But will it matter if your family life is not happy? Or maybe you are a very knowledgeable person. But will it matter if your body is sick?
To live your life to the fullest, I believe there are five areas of life you need to develop in balance. Those five areas are spirituality, mind, body, relationship, and work. Here are the details:

1. SpiritualityThis area deals with your conscience, values, and principles: Already a trick question because this long definition ultimately deals with Religion of which I have none. As to the rest, however, I have plenty and plenty of opinions on them. I feel like my values and principles are incredibly important to me and have turned me into the person I am today.
2. Mind This area deals with your desire to learn: Of this I have a lot! I love to ask questions and learn new things. 
3. Body This one is kind of obvious and this one I don't feel like I have a good balance.  While I am eating better over the last few weeks I have slipped back into some bad eating habits lately.  I don't exercise at all and am often way too exhausted to do anything after work.  I am not happy with my body image at all and no excuses I've let the other areas of my live take over.
4. Relationship This area deals with your relationships with your family, friends, and colleagues: This is where I feel pretty solid.  I really love my husband, family, and friends. I however simply put up with my work colleagues.  They're younger and in a different stage of life than I am. I don't hate them, well not all of them as there are some I definitely cannot stand, nor do I with them 'ill-will'.  I am simply in a different phase of my life. 
5. Work This area deals with your career and achievements. This area of my life is 50/50.  I have had some highs in this part of my life, getting my BA on my way to my graduate degree for example.  And I've had a lot of lows. Right now is a low.  I am still stuck in a retail job with ugly uniforms, low pay, and zero respect. I can do so much better than this. It won't be long now though. I have something else on the horizon and I'm hoping that will shift the balance.
   
   
   It is interesting to see it written out.  Maybe this should become a birthday tradition. :).

Its been a while

I have been very busy, right now life is a little crazy.

I'm now married :)! It feels so good to be married.

I finished my bachelors degree in English and have been working on the entry requirements to Concordia.  There are a lot of them. They needed health information and interviews on top of the standard stuff, but I have registered for classes officially and will be starting class at the end of the month.

Work has been shitty. I do well in retail because I have a lot of patience and when my patience deserts me I can hold back the urge that makes me want to smack the customer.  I have a new opportunity on the horizon, I will be babysitting FT for a close friend of mine.

It won't pay as much as my current job would when they dole out the hours.  But, they only do that for a few months outta the year and even then its only marginally more than what I would make as a babysitter. I would rather work in a job I enjoy and have fun with.

So life right now is preparing for new school and holding on to this new job that I am UBER excited about.

I also have been going over and over in my head about a book but I have no idea what its going to be about really.  I have all but written the first page in my head. Except I'm apprehensive about starting a book when I don't know where it is going. That is the anal factor in me.  I really need to get over that because I think it could be really good.  I'll keep people updated :)!

Love-B

School Drama

So I had a snag with school a few months ago. You have to apply for graduation two terms in advance. I had to delay it because I was unemployed and had to drop out for a term in 2010. They told me to delay it to the deadline which was summer 2011 term.  I ended up graduating earlier than expected and was lucky enough to be able to move my graduation date up to make me eligible to apply for graduate school this year, so phew right?

Not so much. So I still owe money on this term and because of that they will not release my transcripts. It will get paid in about a month.  The problem isn't paying it, it's being able to pay it now.  I'm talking to Concordia in hopes there is something I can do to get it released or get conditional acceptance or if there are some other alternatives. 

That's the bad news, the silver lining is I have a back up plan. Whether or not I got into Concordia I was going to get my CRP/First Aid Cert which most child related jobs require and get into a job working with kids for experience.  If I don't get in, I can work FT, get some experience and then go back to school next year in the FT program. I would still graduate at the same time but I wouldn't be working during that year.

Just focus on school and get it all done. So it isn't completely a waste, there is a back up plan but it would be nice to not have to use it lol.